I’ve experienced a lot of epic failing moments in my business. In those moments, I’ve felt so much shame to the point of wanting to give up. I mean on the ground, curled up in a fetal position, balling my eyes out desperately wanting to quit.
You know the feeling of wanting to crawl in your bed and never leave. Yep, I was in that state for months. Hiding under the covers, hiding from the world.
The problem was I never had a foundation, a vision for my life or a vision for myself of who I needed to become to live the life of my dreams.
My foundation was rotten – I was a people pleaser unable to communicate my needs or set boundaries with my time or schedule. I never thought any of my work was good enough, lacking the confidence to fully execute. I was filled with shame that I would cover up with perfectionism.
Perfectionism is the ultimate enemy of getting projects done.
After months of hiding, I knew I could either give up or build back up.
So, I decided to put my big girl pants on, face my shadows and take action to become the person I was meant to be in this world, so I can serve at the highest level.
I started with writing my vision. I was guided on the process of vision-writing from Success Coach, Bill Tierney. He has a great program called Success Club, dedicated to this and has a free 7-day vision course on his website. I would highly recommend. I adapted his techniques into my own formula and configured the building blocks to build myself back up.
Guess what the number one building block is? YOU!
YOU are the most important piece of your business’s jigsaw puzzle. You must condition and hone yourself for success. For some people it’s natural, for others it’s not. Far too many entrepreneurs hold themselves back because of doubts, worries, fears get in the way. So how can you get over the biggest hurdle in business despair – yourself?
Step 1: Write you’re your year-long vision.
This is your personal vision of why you are building your business. This isn’t about your business goals, but the big vision of your life. This needs to feel exciting and a little scary, it has to feel like it somehow out of reach.
I recommend Bill’s 7-day vision quest to guide you in this writing journey.
The next steps will help you learn how to align with your vision.
Step 2. Develop Habits
Who do you need to be to make your vision happen? Also, what beliefs, fear or doubts are sneaking below the surface that holding you back that need to be purged.
People pleasing, not thinking your good enough and comparing yourself to others are not serving your highest potential.
What habits do you need to incorporate in your life to make the progress you set out in your vision?
Step 3. Actions to Take
Every single day we choose how much success we are creating by the decisions we’re making and the actions we’re taking.
What actions do you need to take on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual basis to proactively condition yourself for success? If you can’t see the actions to take, it’s hard to move forward.
Warning: Don’t Get Stuck in this Trap
The following section is a repost this from my mentor, Mastin Kipp…
“There is a fatal by-product of “thinking big” that needs to be addressed.
This fatal by-product is the big thinking trap.
It goes like this:
1. I’m going to set a massive goal.
2. I start taking action.
3. But the goal is so far out of reach, I get frustrated and give up.
4. Then, I feel guilt and shame for giving up.
5. Then, I stop and go back to normal life.
6. But, I’m overwhelmed, stressed and feel out of place.
7. So, I go for the big goal again.
8. And the same thing happens.
9. I repeat this cycle until I finally resign myself that my dreams are impossible.
What’s the remedy for this maddening cycle?
Lower your expectations (in the short term).
Instead of going for a massive goal, go for a small win.
I actually look at my productivity and goal setting one week at a time.
I ask myself, “What’s one thing I can accomplish this week that will really move the needle forward?”
And, then I focus on that one thing.
This needs to be really practical.
– Publish my website.
– Post daily on social media.
– Actually… ask for help.
– Say, “I love you.”
– Say, “It’s over.”
– Finish the #1 item on your to-do list.
– Give notice at your job.
– Wake up at 5am.
– Don’t eat carbs at night.
– Walk for 30 min a day.
Just one thing.
What’s one thing you can do this week that moves the needle forward?
Ask yourself this question weekly and focus on that one thing, and you will be amazed how much momentum will be created – and fast.”
It doesn’t matter how great your website or social media strategy is if you don’t have a solid foundation with yourself. If you aren’t aligned with yourself then your business will stop in its tracks.
I’ve always said that when you start a business, every single insecurity will rise. You will be tested on all your self-imposed limitations and pushed to your edge.